Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Pop Goes the Weasel - Celebrity Time Travel With Alan Cohen Experience

Alan Cohen Experience is back with more pop culture insanity. We'll just let him speak. P.S. This is the second time he's mentioned Lady Gaga...

"Good Folks of the Earth, after being pestered by hundreds, no... make that THOUSANDS of people, all saying to me, 'Hey! Alan Cohen Experience! Let's talk about time travel!,' I decided, OK, I will talk about time travel again. I will talk about time traveling with famous people."

Lady Gaga - I would take her to 1990, so she can be as shocking and outrageous as she pretends she is. Better yet, I would take her to Bay City, Michigan on August 16, 1958 so she can witness the birth of Madonna, steal the baby, raise it and pretend they are sisters.

Miley Cyrus
- She would come with me to Princeton Junction, NJ on February 2, 1993. Here she will witness the brutal torture I went through in elementary school gym glass, when it was too cold to go outside AND THEY MADE US LEARN LINE DANCING. For two months straight! The "Achy Breaky Heart"... ArrgghhhH!!!!!!!

Bill Clinton
I would take him to Goa, India on May 7, 1973, because listed this time and place as the 10th best party scene in history. Bill Clinton is the 10th best party animal in history, and I am very much looking forward to this trip. Oh, and May 7 is my birthday.

Michael Jackson
- dead. BUT, if he were still alive, I would take him to August 10, 1979 to Los Angeles, CA. We would hang out at the album premier for Off the Wall, and hope that the pure magical energy of that album would not only bring him back to life (because he is dead, after all), but it also would reinvigorate him to make some more of the greatest albums ever (with Quincy Jones).

Justin Bieber - I would take Justin Bieber to the beginning of The Cretaceous Period and leave him with the savage dinosaurs. I would then get back into the time machine and zoom off, but the joke would be that I would land only a mile away. I would wait until he was caught in the web of a gigantasorously huge spider web, and then grab him and bring him back. I would scare him like this just to let him know that he is pretty annoying, but that my little cousin has a bad case of Bieber Fever, and I would feel bad being responsible for him getting eaten by a spider. I would stare at him real close, and just whisper, "Watch it Justin. Watch it."

Each Wednesday (well, you know how musicians are, so maybe every other Wednesday...) the GLG blog will treat you to a Guest Blogger pulled from our creative group of artists who have a lot to say. All the time. We love them for that.